waiting4heinz

quote of the day

2010-06-10T21:58:00.000-07:00

"It's like I'm full of shit...literally." hahahaha

quote of the day

2009-07-24T14:52:00.000-07:00

"poo is king!"

things that make me sad...

2008-10-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

1) when you know someone one day and then they're completely gone the next

2) when you wake up in the morning and dread waking up

3) when you realize that there are people out there who actually like their jobs

4) when you feel like your life is empty

5) when you wish a lot of things could have turned out differently

things that make me smile in the morning =)

2008-10-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

1) seeing the huge white flowers in our backyard that bloom at night and sleep during the day. They were still in bloom yesterday morning when i was eating breakfast, but they weren't in bloom this morning, which made me kind of sad...

2) seeing this cute old chubby man who could barely bend down to stick incense in the grass. He's usually there every morning in front of the hair salon near my house, praying to the gods and cleaning the front door area

3) seeing a line of green parrots perched on the telephone wires near my house. I usually hear them flying in a swarm on weekend mornings...it was pretty cool seeing them once, a green and yellow swarm of birds all cah-ing in the air

things that made me smile...

2008-07-16T21:56:00.000-07:00

• seeing an old man (yea, old, with gray hair and all) roller blading past traffic with his cap, wrist guards, knee pads and all

• driving past a car with a middle aged man driving with a bunch of red roses and balloons in his passenger seat

• my parents starting to take dance lessons

• my boyfriend sending me emails with pictures of furniture to ask me my opinion on which he should buy =)

quote of the day

2008-01-23T19:27:00.000-08:00

"Is he squashing your uniqueness?"

moment of the day

2007-10-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

when a man dressed like Charlie Chaplin, on a red bike, crossed the street

protest for democracy

2007-10-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

I come home everyday and my dad gives me an update on the protests and the killings in Burma. This topic usually comes up because it hits close to home - my parents and my entire family are from Burma (but ethnically Chinese) and it hurts to see and hear what is happening to the people of that country. We (all 27 of our family members, mostly from my mom's side) visited Burma in the winter of 2006, and the country was still very underdeveloped from the time my parents had left til now. And now, hearing about all the protests and killings by their government just makes me angry. Their government is killing innocent people, from students to monks, and I hope their government burns in hell for doing it. Images can be found here - the most horrific is one of a dead body of a monk floating in a river in Rangoon:

http://english.dvb.no/photo3.php?cat=6

Burma needs help and the UN has done nothing. They sent a representative to visit the country after everything has somewhat settled, after they killed hundreds of people they claimed not to have killed, after they burned all their bodies to rid of the evidence. If this were another country that the US could benefit from - China, Korea, Iraq (remember Saddam Hussein?), the US would have done something by now...

i <3 my parents

2007-09-24T23:35:00.001-07:00

We were moving furniture around this past weekend, and after a tiring day, we gathered in our temporary family room to watch a movie together. While my dad was upstairs, my mom suggested that we move his favorite chair into the room because she thought he needed to relax after his tiring day. So my mom and I moved the chair (that my dad hasn't gotten to sit in for awhile since construction started on our house) into the room and when he came in, he laughed and smiled and sat in his chair like he hadn't sat in it for years. He was happy, and he said hadn't gotten to relax in "his" chair for a long time. Since then, he's sat in it every single day.

things that bug...

2007-09-20T22:29:00.000-07:00

1.) procrastinators
2.) incompetence
3.) late people
4.) lazy people
5.) people who think they know what they're talking about but really don't
6.) people who never learn...
7.) getting home late because of work
8.) traffic - i hate traffic!

randomness

2007-09-20T22:19:00.000-07:00

1.) random pockets of sunshine
2.) "don't be scared of something that you never had"
3.) cold
4.) fearless?
5.) "is it ever wrong to do the right thing?"
6.) how do you get a fly out of the refrigerator?

not so in like with you anymore

2007-08-26T20:55:00.000-07:00

so i joined www.iminlikewithyou.com because my sister said it was fun, and it actually was for awhile...until it got all skankified with games with titles such as "my tits..." or "nipple licking." I'm sure lots of people are into myspaceified sites (there's nothing wrong with myspace btw cuz i do have an account - i just don't have a bunch of photos where i'm half naked in them, that's all) like this, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it was kind of nice that there was a new social site that was different. Before, the site consisted of techies and creatives where people came up with clever games that generated clever responses. I hadn't logged on to this site for awhile and when i went on there the other day to browse, i was disappointed to see what it had become. And I'm not the only one who feels this way. Sorry iminlikewithyou...I'm not so in like with you anymore.

strange...

2007-08-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

It's a weird night when...

1.) you go to see a friend's friend perform and the place is pretty much empty

2.) a fight breaks out and you don't get to see your friend's friend perform because you feared for your life

3.) you see a guy lying in the middle of the street and you think he's dead but his head moves and some people are surrounding him laughing

4.) you see an old guy with long gray hair sitting by himself at the bar with a neck brace and headphones

ewww...

2007-08-23T21:06:00.000-07:00

uh, i think there's a problem when someone you work with (who's probably like 15 years older than you) tells you that your skirt is too long and that all asian girls wear short skirts...ewww...

and it's totally gross when someone leaves a pile of poop, wrapped up in newspaper, outside on the sidewalk...also ewww...

quote of the night

2007-08-12T15:43:00.000-07:00

by a friend..."We're three small Asian girls...three of us equals one white guy. We don't take up that much space."

i think they can dance!

2007-08-02T22:01:00.000-07:00

so i think i'm obesessed with this show (so you think you can dance). i know, it's another reality show, but it's entertaining and these people are actually really talented! one of the routines last night made me cry - i don't think i've ever cried watching people dance before...until yesterday. mia michaels and wade robson are two of my favorite choreographers - they're amazing! give it a watch and you'll see what i mean...

yet again...quote of the day

2007-07-19T23:29:00.000-07:00

by a coworker..."After we finish eating the babies, we'll eat the parents!"

quote of the day

2007-07-07T20:49:00.000-07:00

by a friend..."i've banned the red hot chili peppers from my car and i've also banned dead people."

quote of the day

2007-07-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

by my cousin..."i thought i was ugly but then i saw her!"

age of love

2007-07-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

I can't believe i'm watching this show and i can't believe Mark Philippoussis is on it and that guy who used to be on All My Children is hosting it. The premise is to see if age matters when in comes to love - blah blah blah. They have women in their 40's, the cougars, and women in their 20's, the kittens, competing for his heart - blah blah blah. At first, I was sure there was no way he'd pick someone in their 40's (coming from me who's in my 20's) over someone in their 20's, but as i was watching, i found myself rooting for the 40 year olds. They're way more mature, fun and less catty - they actually all get along with each other, unlike the girls in their 20's. What a bad representation of women in their 20's - I think they were all chosen for their huge boobs, which they all have btw...

just breathe

2007-07-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

It disappeared one day and I wasn't sad, I wasn't mad, but rather a little relieved. But it came back all of a sudden recently and for a second, it made it hard to breathe.

a conversation with an eight year old girl

2007-07-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

There was a cute little eight year girl over at our house today - the daughter of one of the construction workers who's working on our house. She had that look on her face that said "come play with me," but I was on my way out, so my mom decided to entertain her (sort of). She sat in the kitchen while my mom was cleaning out one of our cabinets full of plastic bags. I think my mom felt a little sorry for her because she had no one to talk with or play with and my mom didn't really think it was safe for her to be hanging around her dad while he was sawing and hammering away. When I came back home, they had already left and my mom told me about the eight year girl and the conversation she had with her. She has two other siblings, both younger - the youngest, a one year old brother, and they weren't with her today because they were out with their mom who was shopping for things to bring back to Mexico. They were going to leave for Mexico this afternoon. She wasn't with them because she didn't want to go to Mexico and wanted to hang out with her dad. She spoke about two older brothers whom she hadn't seen for years, and according to my mom, she made it sound like they were from a previous marriage because she had said she was the oldest child in her family. It was cute how my mom talked about her, but I could sense the slight sadness she felt for the little girl, ending with "How could her dad bring her to work with him, especially when he's doing construction? But I gave her that little toy that's been sitting there so she could take it home," and she chuckled. Two people, my mom - chinese and in her sixties, and a little hispanic eight year old girl, bonded and shared stories with each other this afternoon at my house...strange...but endearing.

internetless

2007-06-30T19:05:00.000-07:00

I didn't have access to the interent for a few days this week because there was a problem with the ISP and their server for our area. I was fine the first day without it, but then the second day rolled around and it still wasn't working. I was irritated especially when the third day rolled around and it still wasn't working! So I called and it was around 8:30PM and a guy named "Josh" answered the phone. Most of you who have dealt with travel websites and things like this know what I'm talking about when I say I know they weren't answering the call from the U.S. Anywho, he tried to help me fix my connection and told me to do all the things I've already tried. I was being nice because I hate being mean to people over the phone, even if they're telemarketers because I always put myself in their shoes and imagine what it would be like to get yelled at everyday over the phone. But my boss' comment about me being too nice kept running through my head. So I was frustrated when "Josh" told me that it would be fixed in the morning and that it should be up by the next day. I got kinda mad and told him that it hadn't been working for the past three days and that if it wasn't working by the next day that I would have to switch ISPs. He responded with "I hope not, mam," at which i then replied with "Well then get it fixed!" and then I hung up on him. I've never hung up on anyone before my boss made that comment about me being too nice. Since he's made that comment I've hung up on two people. =/ But alas, the interent is up and running again and I hope it stays that way because I don't want to hang up on anyone again...cuz I feel kinda bad...

pleasantly surprised

2007-06-02T11:31:00.000-07:00

I was driving home from work the other day and when i turned the corner onto the freeway ramp, there was a long line of cars waiting in line for the meter. I was surprised that all these people were actually waiting in line even with the carpool lane right next to them, which they could've used to bypass the meter (which I've seen people do before even though they didn't have two or more people in their car). Every car I saw that sped past me in the carpool lane actually had two or more people in the car. It was weird to see because I would've assumed that most LA drivers would abuse the carpool lane, but apparently, none of them do, well, none that I saw that day anyway. Right on LA drivers who waited patiently in line that day with me!

are you smarter than a fifth grader? (or first grader perhaps)

2007-05-17T23:27:00.000-07:00

A guy came in today and asked the guy at the counter to help him change a number in his text - the number was ten thousand ninety-nine. There was a point where three guys were at the counter trying to figure out if the number was written out correctly - yes, 10,099 - ten, zero, ninety-nine. I was compelled to just scream it out, but waited to see how long it would take them to figure it out - approximately 10 minutes maybe? wow, is all i can say...

edison bar

2007-04-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

If you're ever in downtown LA and need a cool place to hang out, you should go here:

http://www.edisondowntown.com/

If you check out their map, it's pretty huge, and they have small dance shows with flapper girls like every hour. And there was no cover when we went which made it even more awesome!

what would you do?

2007-04-15T13:04:00.000-07:00

My friend was looking for parking at the mall yesterday and saw a young asian couple arguing and yelling at each other, with the guy actually shoving the girl a few times. They were screaming at each other in Cantonese, which my friend can kind of understand. She made out a few sentences - one about how the woman wanted to be alone and was going inside the mall and another about how he was making a scene. The woman finally headed into the mall, her husband following not far behind her with her purse. Everyone was now inside the mall, along with my friend, and the couple was still yelling at each other. People have begun to stare and he was still shoving her. My friend, at this point, remembered this episode of Oprah she had seen (yes, you can call her an "O" fan) about "What would you do in this situation?" One of the scenarios was exactly like this one where the guy was screaming at his wife and shoving her. So my friend, who didn't want to be one of those people who did nothing about the situation, decided to do something about it. She went up to the girl while the guy was still yelling at her, and asked her if she was okay and if she needed her to call security. The woman said she was fine. Another older couple then approached and asked the woman the same thing and decided to call security. At this point, my friend was literally standing inbetween the man, who was still screaming at the woman, and the woman. The lady from the older couple then told the man who was screaming, that he should give the purse back to the woman. He then said, "She's my wife, what does it matter?" He ended up giving her purse back while security arrived and it turned out that security couldn't do anything because nothing was really going on. They all came to the agreement that the husband would go home and leave his wife there, whom my friend volunteered to take home. My friend actually did take her home and found out that the reason they were arguing was because the woman didn't get along with her husband's parents, who despise her because after they got married, their son moved out to live with her, his wife (what decade are we in again?)!

Anyways, the whole point behind this is what would you have done? Would you have just walked away and let it happen or would you have done something about it? Truthfully, I probably would have just walked away because 1.) I wouldn't want to get involved and 2.) the husband seemed like a violent person. But then after thinking that, #2 should make me want to do something even more to help and I'm in a public place so I would most likely be safe. But really, I still don't think I would step in, but I guess I have to be in that situation to really know. I never thought that my friend was the type of person who would step in and invite a stranger into her car (I guess Oprah works in mysterious ways, haha). She's usually very non-confrontational and can be shy at times, so it surprised me that she did that, but i totally give her props!

quotes of the day

2007-04-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

"All these fixtures are like fixed."

Friend 1: "We should come here when we don't have any other place to go."
Friend 2: "Or if we feel like sucking blood, haha."

old people are so cute!

2007-04-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

There's this old man I work with - he's Hispanic, kind of short, wears glasses, and has a slight tummy. He can barely speak English, but he says cute funny things like "I like happy people." I had lunch with him one day, and his wife packed him his lunch but he didn't know what she had packed for him. When he unpacked his lunch, he slowly opened up a foil-wrapped package to reveal a sandwich to which he let out a happy "ooo!" He then opened up his tupperware to reveal some fruit, which he then a gave an "ahhh!" to. It was so endearing. This is the same man who pulled my co-worker aside and told her, "Hey, I have a secret. Don't tell anybody ok? It's Friday!" and then he laughs and says "Shhh" with a smile.

There is another old guy I work with - I describe him as a chubbier version of Mr. Miyagi. He's very sarcastic and when he was eating lunch one day at this diner, an older couple came up to him and asked him for his autograph, thinking he was actually Pat Morita (the guy who played Mr. Miyagi), so he said, "Ok" and signed their napkin...but he signed his own name, and when the couple saw it, they were surprised to see that they had made a mistake.

And then there's this little skinny old Russian man with his fur-collared coat and cute little hat, who passes by our store every once in awhile and waves to my other older co-worker. His wave is not just one of those one-handed waves; It's one of those two-handed waves, like how little kids sometimes do. My older co-worker then waves back and gives him one of those army salutes with the straight posture and everything. My co-worker once saw the two old men talking with each other and she asked my older co-worker what they were talking about, and he said "I don't know. He was talking to me in Russian and I didn't understand him, so I replied in Chinese."

Things like this bring a smile to my face but it reminds of how much I miss having old cute people around.

dianas

2007-04-11T22:52:00.000-07:00

So I've discovered something...if you want your child to grow up to be a petite, loud girl with a big personality, name her Diana. It's strange - I know three Dianas and they all fit that description...and I love them all!

make someone happy

2007-03-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

"Make just one someone happy, and you will be happy too."

mean people suck

2007-03-07T21:24:00.000-08:00

It's okay if you're having a bad day...just don't ruin everyone else's please!

i miss...

2007-01-31T19:57:00.000-08:00

So I recently started a new job and I love it! But although I hated (yes, hate is a very harsh word, but in this case, i think it's kind of warranted, especially if you knew what really went on there) the place I left, I miss a lot of things that surrounded it. I miss my old co-workers...a lot. I walked into that place not knowing anyone, but in a short period of time, I felt like I had known some of them for years. I miss the drive to and from work, which involved no freeways like it does now. On really nice sunny days, driving to work wasn't really a chore - it was actually kind of nice to see people on the streets and different types of buildings along the way, instead of just seeing a long stream of cars and a brick wall lining the side of the road. It was fun seeing the same crossing guard everyday - an old man who talked with all the moms and dads and kids who crossed the street. I used to smile at him every morning and he would acknowledge me with one of those "hello" nods, and then keep a look out for cars coming so I could make my turn. I miss seeing the three little asian brothers who rode their razors to school, trying new tricks along the way. I miss all those things...things that sometimes made my day or made me smile every morning...

quote of the day

2007-01-25T23:50:00.000-08:00

"...it's like 90% of life - just knowing the difference."

spirited away

2006-12-18T19:59:00.000-08:00

My co-worker's father passed away recently and he told me about a story that happened to his mom the day before the funeral.

His mom suddenly awoke that Friday morning at the time her husband would usually wake up in the mornings and saw a black butterfly fluttering around in her room. The butterfly started flying and she decided to follow it out into the hallway and when it turned the corner into the living room, it disappeared. She then walked into the kitchen where her husband would usually make his morning toast and saw another butterfly, this time it was black with white spots. It fluttered around and eventually disappeared as well.

I told my mom about this story and apparently after my mom got home after my grandmother's funeral, my mom saw a bright orange butterfly at our kitchen window, fluttering and perching on the window over and over. My mom looked at it, smiled, and said goodbye, and it flew away. My mom said that sometimes the spirit comes back in the form of a butterfly to say one last goodbye. I guess life, and death, holds many wonders...

sometimes bigger IS better

2006-12-11T19:58:00.000-08:00

I went to two restaurants this weekend - one that was really good and cheap, and the other which was pretty pricey for what you get.

The first restaurant is a small, hole in the wall, Mexican restaurant called El Tepeyac in East LA. And when I say small, I mean small. Our party of four had to wait outside because there was no room in there to stand, and the line at this place is usually around the block, but the food was sooo good! Their burritos were ginormous! At about five dollars a person (drinks included), one Manuel special burrito fed all four of us with leftovers to bring home (and they make even bigger burritos than that)! I would totally go there again! It received a 9.4 on Citysearch and was ranked number two for the best Mexican restaurant in LA in 2003. Here's the citysearch link just in case you're in the East LA area and in the mood for some really good Mexican food or a big honkin' burrito!

http://losangeles.citysearch.com/profile/59599

The second restaurant is a small, somewhat shi shi, tapas restaurant in Costa Mesa called Aire Global. We went for a friend's birthday. The ambiance and the presentation of the food was nice, which is what I think you mostly pay for bacause you definitely get really little for your money. And when I say little, I mean little. I've been to a few really nice, expensive restaurants before, and the food at those places were really good, but here, it was just okay. I've also been to a couple tapas restaurants before, but this one was again, just okay. I ordered the Albondigas, a Mexican meatball soup that I've always wanted to try, and when it arrived at the table, I was disappointed to see how little we got. The bowl was pretty big, but it was only filled less than a quarter of it's height with only three sad looking meatballs inside. And it wasn't really soup - it was more like sauce. The waitress asked how many bowls we wanted so we can all share, but we decided we didn't really need any other bowls, considering there wasn't really all that much to to go around for about 12 people. Other items served there include mini tacos, which were actually pretty good, and tater tots (that look like the kind out of the frozen aisle) for six dollars. Truthfully, this place is a good first date place, but if you both have large appetites, you might leave there still hungry, just like all of us did. I couldn't find any reviews on Citysearch, but here's their website which doesn't list prices on the dinner menu, which made me go hmmmm...

http://www.aireglobal.com/

isn't it ironic?

2006-12-11T19:40:00.000-08:00

I went to a funeral and a birthday party on the same day this weekend...kind of weird and ironic, but if you think about it, they are both celebrations of life...a new way to look at it I guess

the last kiss

2006-09-30T01:20:00.000-07:00

So I always thought that I would be one of those people who would enjoy having my life planned out, as in knowing who you're going to marry, what you're going to do career-wise, and knowing who you are by the time you hit your mid-twenties. But after watching "The Last Kiss," I'm kind of glad my life isn't planned out...yet. I like having that sense of not knowing, not knowing who I'm going to meet, not knowing where I'm going to be working for the rest of my life before I retire, not knowing where I'm going to be living the next year. But in five years, I'm hoping all of that will be somewhat clear, that I would have at least met the person I want to share my last kiss with. But for now, I like the element of surprise, not knowing what's around the corner. It's kind of refreshing.

boring

2006-09-30T00:47:00.000-07:00

So I was talking with a friend today about how we thought we were boring, but I think that there are two types of boring - one being the really boring type of person that makes people fall asleep they're so boring, and the other being the boring type who think they're boring because that's what their life seems like compared to everyone elses. I personally think we fall in the latter category, but really, how do we know we all don't fall in the first? No one will tell you if you're really boring.

But seriously, I feel like I don't fall in the first type of boring for the following reasons: I can carry on a conversation perfectly fine, I make my co-workers laugh, and some people think I'm a little weird, and weird people can't be boring or they wouldn't be weird. But I do feel as though I fall in the second kind of boring where the things I do most of the time are pretty boring when compared to other people. Like, most days throughout the week, Monday through Friday, I work and go home after that, and on some occassions, I would go out to dinner with friends or happy hour with co-workers, but that's about it. And when I get home, I read, knit, sew, or watch TV. Wow, I sound like a freakin' old lady (sorry if I offended anyone). It's pretty boring when compared to other people who tell you the next day that they're tired and hung over from a party or that they went on a date with someone or that they saw their kid do something cute. And when I first meet people, I always feel like I'm pretty boring compared to them, people who have travelled to so many places, people who have cool jobs, people who have experienced life so much more fully. So I'm stuck here thinking if other people think I'm boring, like the first type of boring, because I'm totally fine with being the second type of boring. Because I have a long way to go to experience life, to make my life my own, no matter how boring it may seem to me or other people. But I really don't want to go through life being the first type of boring, so if I do fall in that category, can someone please let me know?! seriously...thanks...

F-I-E-L-D...yes, that IS how you spell it

2006-08-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

So this how dumb my boss is...

He goes into my co-worker's office and says, "I can't believe someone misspelled the word "field" in our database. I was looking it up to find a photo and nothing came up. I mean who spells "field" like that? FI-ELD? (pronouncing it phonetically). I'm going to change it and spell it correctly in the system so when other people do a search they can find it." So he went and changed it to "feild" because that's how he seriously thinks "field" is spelled. I can't believe I work for someone who can't spell "field" correctly. I seriously work in an office that can totally just be filmed and it would be like the show "The Office." So sad...

no light bulb dancing?

2006-07-09T19:38:00.000-07:00

So I just came back from my friend's wedding. It was my first Muslim Indian wedding and it was nothing like I had expected. I thought it was going to be somewhat like the movie Monsoon Wedding, with all this music and dancing, but it wasn't. Maybe it was because that movie depicted a Hindu wedding, haha, oops. The wedding went on for about a week, with all these different events each day. I attended a henna event, the wedding, and a reception, all on different days, so it was a reeeally long wedding! And who knew Indian people ran on Asian time times four? When they said to arrive at five, they meant seven, and when they said twelve, they meant two...now I know. It was crazy...all those events ended up lasting about five to six hours each event. The food was great (even though it made everyone gassy), but I'm not sure if it's because I was starving by the time we ate, or if it was because it was really good. All of it was fun, but a bit overwhelming and tiring. I can't even imagine what the bride and groom felt like after only getting about two to three hours of sleep each night.

I've decided, after seeing all of that, that I would a like a small intimate wedding with family and close friends, that my wedding day (if it should happen one day) shouldn't be all about stress and everything being perfect, because what wedding is? I just want it to be fun, something memorable and not just a big foggy cloud of not remembering what the heck just happened. I hope I don't eat my words...

so close, yet so far

2006-06-20T22:42:00.000-07:00

"So close yet so far - that's the story of my life," my co-worker tells me. I laugh and I say, "Ya know, it's kinda true for me too." I was so close to getting a job that I thought would be a great first design job...so close, yet sooo sooo far. I was so close to living on my own, being more independent, until I got laid off...so close, yet so far. I was so close to getting the ultimate dream job as a travelling food critic - I love eating and I love travelling, two of the most important requirements for that job, but how the hell do you even get that job??? So close, yet so far. I was so close to thinking I would meet that one person I would totally gel with for the rest of my life by the time I was 24, but sadly, I was only so close thinking it - no guy ever came along...so close only in my naive head, yet so so so far.

what did i get myself into?

2006-06-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

I hate my boss...I guess hate is a harsh word, so let me rephrase that. I really really dislike my boss. I walked into this job not knowing what I was getting into. He had lied to me during the initial interview, telling me that their designs were similar to pretty reputable nonprofit organizations, and I saw some of their magazine covers and believed him. Turns out he not only lied to me, but also lied to some of my other co-workers as well. It's definitely not a good sign when on your first day of work, everyone, I literally mean everyone, who works there tells you how horrible the boss is and how horrible the work is, how at this place, any white space on a spread is prohibited. It made me wonder what the hell I got myself into. It's difficult getting used to having to take my lunches and breaks at a specific hour even though I'm not hungry most of the time, clocking in and out AND filling out a separate time sheet, and stealing photos and copy from other magazines and books without giving them credit and then putting their own copyright on them - yeah, pretty much plagiarizing and copyright infringement, but according to the company, they're not violating any laws because they're a nonprofit organization. It's so unethical, and the irony is that it's a religious organization. It's times like these when I wish that I had won the lotto, or that I was extremely talented in something, like singing, playing an instrument, painting, etc. But I keep telling myself that it's a job, and it's better to have one than not, right? But can I live with myself knowing that I'm doing something unethical even though it's technically not against the law? Or that I was so excited and passionate about designing when I walked into this place but none of that passion or creativity can be translated in any of the work I do?

The upside is that I love the people (except for my boss) - they're an awesome bunch. I feel like it was easy fitting in with them. It's hilarious watching my co-worker eat his lunch out of his desk drawer because he didn't have time to eat during our designated lunch hour and didn't want to get caught by our boss eating at his desk, or seeing some of them pretend to work but they're really napping or reading a magazine. But it's sad when people have to start doing "homework" (creative work on the side) to get their creativity out, and if they don't finish an assignment by the end of the week, they owe a dollar to the "pot." So who gets the pot you ask? Well, it's the person who finds another job and leaves that place first. If that's not motivation, what is?

that

2006-04-23T20:06:00.000-07:00

Christianity - it's one of those topics I don't like discussing with people, especially people who are Christian. We always tend to have different views on things and the conversations always conclude with the fact that we both just have different opinions. I was never really a religious person, so when my friend asked me to attend her bastism today, I didn't really want to go at first, but decided that as a friend, I had no reason not to attend, so I went to support her because it was an important event in her life. It's not that I've never been exposed to church or anything; I've attended church, particpated in the stations of the cross, and sang church songs for eight years of my life at a Catholic school, but Catholicism and Christianity are two different religions, both which I respectfully chose not to join.

I have my share of Christian friends and they're really nice people, but it just bugged me a little that some of them always did the whole "Hey, you want to come hang out with me and my friends?" thing, and it turns out to be a church event or gathering. I'm not big on the conversion factor or when people try to push their views on me. I'm one of those people who have my own views and stick with them because I'm always sure in what I believe in. It's hard to bring me into a religion where I don't agree with every aspect of it. It's not to say that I don't repect it; just don't push it on me when I don't ask for it.

But at the baptism today, it was nice. They all sang songs in harmony, their voices in unison. People shared very personal stories about themselves and I even teared up when my friend made her testimonial. They were all heartfelt speeches, each giving a piece of themsleves to everyone there today and each having experienced at least one life changing event in their lives. After hearing everyone speak, I realized that some people just need that in their lives, that faith, that something to believe in, that religion that keeps them going. And I totally respect that, but I came to the conclusion that I'm one of those people where all I need is to know that I do have faith and I do believe in God, and as long as God knows that, that's all that should matter no matter what anyone else thinks or believes.

don't make other people feel stupid, stupid!

2006-04-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

I took my mom to a Chinese grocery store the other day and while checking out, my mom asked the bag boy if he could use paper bags. Grant it, my mom's English isn't so great, so "paper bag" ended up sounding like "papper beg." But still, if I were the bag boy who spoke perfect English, I could've made it out considering all he was doing was bagging groceries. My mom repeated it twice, so the cashier finally repeated it to him, but it sounded almost exactly like what my mom had said, but he got it this time. So the bag boy decides to say in Cantonese to the cashier, "I couldn't understand what she was saying," and laughed. I guess he didn't know that my mom understands Cantonese, along with Mandarin, Toi San, Burmese, and English. So my mom repeated it to me, saying in Toi San, "Oh did you hear what he said? He said...(and she repeated what he had said in Cantonese)" loud enough so that he could hear. I just kinda smirked and I kinda hoped he felt stupid after he made my mom feel stupid. I'm just proud that my mom said something and I'm proud that she knows how to understand and speak five languages fluently, even though her English isn't perfect, but I give her a lot of credit.

tv makes me angry...so why do i keep watching...

2006-04-15T11:36:00.000-07:00

So I was watching this dumb show called "Survival of the Richest," (I couldn't help but watch...) for the first time the other day and it just made me angry. The premise of the show is there are a group of "rich kids" (all born into money) and a group of "poor kids" (all in debt) and they are paired up (one rich and one poor person) to compete in tasks to win a pot of money at the end of the show. There was this one scene where one of the "poor kids" decided to have a cleaning day to clean up the house and I was shocked to see that some of the "rich kids" didn't know the difference between a broom and a mop, didn't know how to use a vaccuum cleaner, and never cleaned a bathroom in their lives. I guess they always had someone to clean up after them. I kept watching, and there was another scene where two of the rich guys decided to treat everyone to a sushi dinner. It was the first time trying sushi for some of the poor kids, and the rich kids were surprised that some of the poor kids didn't like it. The two rich guys flaunted their cash when they had to pay, showing how expensive the meal was, and one of the guys commented along the lines of how sushi was what people with money ate and was a sign of status. I was already a little irritated at this point but I kept watching for some reason. They had a task where they had to volunteer and serve food at a homeless shelter. One of the rich guys said, "I'm sorry I was born lucky...mission accomplished." Another rich guy said something along the lines of "I don't think I've learned anything from coming here except that I shouldn't be the one helping them serve food." The rich kids were all shocked to see all those homeless people, commenting that they've seen it in third world countries but didn't know it existed in the United States. What??? Where the hell have they been?! Apparently they've all been living under a rock...or I guess in their own little bubble in their huge mansions...

On a more serious note, I saw this documentary on PBS about the Tiananmen Square event that occurred in June of 1989. It's called The Tank Man and it's a really good documentary that I reccommend to everyone. It's an hour and a half long, but it's worth watching. I wanted to buy it to maybe show to my future kids one day, but it's $30! I've never paid $30 for a single DVD! Here's the link where you can actually watch it online if you haven't already seen it:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/tankman/

The documentary covers the entire event from start to finish and includes interviews with people who experienced it first hand. It talks about the aftermath and the choice China made between moving towards a political or economical progression for the country. It's pretty obvious which direction they chose and it's sad to see the extreme censorship that stills exists in the country today. A lot of the university students currently studying in China don't even know about the Tiananmen Square tragedy and a few big well-known companies in America that do business with China don't help the censorship issue at all. It made me kind of angry that companies in America (the country that symbolizes freedom) are helping to support the censorship in China. But I guess business is business right?

karma is a funny thing...

2006-04-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

as Earl would put it. I truly believe that people get what they deserve in the end, whether it be good or bad. I feel like recently, it's been happening. A couple people who weren't very nice, got what they deserved finally, and a little voice inside of me, said "haha." Karma is gonna bite me in the ass for that...but on the other side of things, a couple of my friends who recently started their own business, seem to be starting out very well, and I think it's because they worked their asses off and to add to it, they're just good people.

The other day, my mom took me to go see a monk. The last time we went to go see her, she predicted the future (no really, she did) and helped me with the situation I was in at the time. So this time around, I knew why my mom was taking me there...to have her help me find a good job. So I went with my aunt and my mom. We got to her house and rang the doorbell a few times, but no one answered. We waited outside for a little bit and examined her beautiful garden in her front yard and her little shrine in the backyard. Flowers were blooming and trees were green. The door finally opened and she came out and directed us in. She's kind of young, maybe in her mid to late 20's and was wearing the normal peach orange monk robe. Turns out she was taking a shower. So monks take showers too? haha...she just seemed so divine, with her green trees, blooming flowers, and shrine in the backyard. But turns out, monks are normal people too...well, sort of. It amazed me that she was remodeling her home/temple all by herself - knocking down walls, putting in pipes, painting, etc. She did hire an illegal immigrant and paid him $10/hr one day to help her, but still, that's pretty impressive. She's remodelling so she can have more room for her temple/shrine area. She remembered me from the last time and said I got prettier (that was nice! haha). We brought her a pot of flowers, some oranges, and some Tide detergent. Apparently, the detergent is so she can wash away all my bad luck. She started praying to herself while my aunt whispered stories to my mom and I about her, about how she was invited to this furniture store to pray there one day to give them good business (which worked, so they invited her to come back once a month) and about this group of teenagers who came from New York to see her and ask her questions about their future. Apparently, she's pretty well-known. Well, she told me a few things about when I would find a job and when I would meet a great guy. Hopefully, it's true because I totally believe in her after what happened the first time I went to see her. It's hard not to beleive when what she said would happen, actually happened. It was weird...I never really believed in things like that...I was a skeptic like my dad, but hey, she made me a believer. But after leaving, I couldn't help but wonder whether or not I've been a good person, whether I ended up where I am because of fate or because of things I did, and whether the people I know today are people I met because I was meant to meet them or because I made myself meet them...hmmm...maybe I'm still a little skeptical...

But still, after going to see her, I felt like she was somewhat invincible, like nothing could hurt her. She seemed like a superwoman - remodelling her own house and picking up a stranger off the street to help her and being able to foresee the future. But then I wondered if the person she picked up off the street didn't do anything bad, like steal anything, because he was afraid karma would bite him in the ass, especially if he stole from a monk, haha. But do people really believe in karma? Or is it just something people just kinda say when something bad or good happens because they had previously done something bad or good? Well, if it worked for Earl, I'm hoping it'll work for me. I don't have a list, but I don't think I'm a bad person, and I feel like I haven't done anything that bad, so karma, please work your magic!

the power of three

2006-03-31T14:04:00.000-08:00

So my roommate and I moved out this past weekend and since she and I were a little scared to drive the U-haul, one of our girlfriends decided to volunteer! We decided we didn't need any help from the boys, so it was the three of us lifting and hauling couches and beds into the U-haul. It actually felt kind of liberating - three girls moving all that stuff on our own! It was cute...whenever my friend needed help, she said "Power of three guys, power of three!" Kinda reminded me of Charmed, not that I watch that show or anything. But we did it, even though we were all sore the next day. It was pretty funny though...my friend's parents laughed at us while we were driving away in the U-haul and we even got a smirk from this guy driving by us - three girls sitting in the front seat of a U-haul...yeah, that's right mister! It was an eventful day. Tiring, yes, but very refreshing if that makes sense.

So I'm back home with the parents. It feels like I'm back from college, but I'm not. I haven't lived lived at home in about seven years, so it feels a little strange - I guess this is what not having an income does to you. haha. But it's kind of nice seeing my parents everyday and I don't mind all the home cooked meals either. But I've only been home for about a week, so we'll see how long it'll last...

i am...

2006-02-25T23:25:00.000-08:00

So I was cleaning out my oh so cluttered room today (yes, I'm a pack rat) and while in the middle of weeding out my drawer full of papers, I found this worksheet that we had to fill out in my Directions class Freshman year in high school. It was titled "I am!" and it gave you beginning phrases that you had to complete. This is what I wrote...

I am a daydreamer
I wonder how things got the way they are
I hear people laughing when others are crying
I see myself going somewhere in the future
I want the world to be a safer place
I am here

I pretend to hear something when I really don't
I feel the way I want to feel
I touch a hand when it is reached out
I worry about my family
I cry when I watch movies that make me cry
I am fearful

I understand the way people feel at times
I say things that don't usually come out right
I dream about things that will never be
I try to be there when people need me
I hope I live up to at least a hundred
I am calm

I am (my name was written here)

After reading through it, I couldn't remember writing any of it at all. It's a little corny, but it got to me for some reason. I feel like I knew myself so much better back then than I do now. I wrote it about ten years ago and you would think that after ten years, I would know myself a lot better now than I did before. For some reason, after sifting through the huge stack of papers, I feel like I had so much more creative energy back then; I had more conviction; I knew where I stood. What happened? I'm ten years older and I filled out that paper again and this is what I wrote...

I am scared
I wonder where I'll be in a year
I hear myself thinking a lot
I see my parents getting old
I want a job I love
I am learning to be more independent

I pretend to be okay when I'm not
I feel lost
I touch the stuffed animal I used to love
I worry about the future
I cry when I'm sad
I am confused

I understand that there are people out there who are in way worse situations than I am
I say put myself out there
I dream of owning a home one day
I try the best I can
I hope things work out the way I plan
I am waiting

I am (my name goes here)

So after filling it out again and reading through it, I just feel old. I was more creative back then and I did have more conviction. The answers are so different. I see the youthfulness and the optimism in the original one and then I see the maturity and the fearfulness in the second. I've lost that child inside of me that made me feel optimistic and hopeful, and I'm hoping to find it again. I am...looking for what I've lost.

finding mr. right...

2006-02-06T14:10:00.000-08:00

So I'm 24 going on 25, and according to my mom and five aunts, it's about time I have a man in my life. I'm the only niece who's old enough who doesn't have a boyfriend yet, and they have all decided to step in and "find" someone for me. Awhile ago, my aunt in Arizona called me out of nowhere to ask if it's okay if I give her my email address so she can pass it along to the son of a friend of hers. She gave me a profile of him and everything...how can you say "no" to your aunt? So I gave her my email address out of politeness. I thought I was in the clear because weeks passed by and I hadn't recieved an email from anyone out of the ordinary, so I was happy and relieved...until...one day he actually emailed me. We've exchanged a few emails back and forth so far, and he seems pretty normal...we shall see...

The day after my aunt from Arizona called, my mom called to tell me that my other aunt had called her ask about me and what I thought about this guy who went on vacation with us. My mom thankfully said "no" for me. But what's going on? I'm only 24 and I'm not of marrying age, or at least it's too early for me. I plan on getting married like in five years, which is a long time away. And in my mind, I have a few years to meet Mr. Right. And if I don't meet him in five years, and I'm 30, then maybe, just maybe, I might ask for their help or try out for a show like Lisa Loeb's #1 Single (a fun show btw), but right now, I'm young, and I think I kinda want to meet that someone on my own...

favorite moment of the day...

2006-01-29T11:42:00.000-08:00

when my dad came into my room while I was sleeping and screams "Happy New Year!" with his fists in the air like he had just won something

parents - can't live with em, can't live without em

2006-01-28T21:54:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, I was really frustrated with my mom. We had a few conversations about what kind of job she wanted me to find, what she thinks I should do with my major, and what she thinks I should do with my design skills. I was angry that she didn't support me, that she couldn't hear my side or understand what I wanted. Ever since then, I've been wanting to avoid talking with her because everytime we talk, it leads to that whole conversation all over again...and no thanks. So I decided to come home to visit my parents this weekend, hoping that that conversation wouldn't come up again, and so far, it hasn't really...well, maybe a little tid bits of it, but I can deal with that.

Through all of this business with my mom, I wondered why my dad never breathed a word. And I realized it was because he dislikes his job, a job he's had for 27 years, a job he wished he could've left to find something better, but didn't out of convenience and stabilty. So he didn't want to get in the middle of it, between my mom and I, because he didn't want to take sides, because he sees both ends of the spectrum. On one hand, he'd agree with my mom, that I should find something in the meantime to have an income, but on the other, he doesn't want me to get stuck, feeling comfortable with that job and never finding something I actually want to do. So my dad not saying a word - I totally respect him for that.

So it's Chinese New Year's Eve and every year since we were little, my sister and I would help our mom put together plates (which would be used as an offering to the Gods) and bags (which would be given to relatives and co-workers) full of candy and other goodies to get ready for the New Year, while our dad would sit in the living room watching TV. This year, it was just my mom and I, and it seemed like it had been forever since I helped her. It was refreshing to just sit there with her, seeing her smile, without me having that annoyed and irritated feeling I've been having of her for the past week. It was nice. It's weird how such a small event like this can make things a little better. It may have not fixed it, but it made it seem smaller than it was before.

Parents are mysterious people. They seem to know things that you think they don't know, and they make you angry, happy, and irritated, but you love them anyway. They are the two people in the entire world, besides a significant other, who can annoy the crap out of you in one moment but in the next, make you feel completely safe. You can't live with them, but you can't live without them.

this is the year...right?

2006-01-24T14:24:00.000-08:00

Life is strange. One day you were satisfied with it, content. The next, you feel lost, hoping that things will fall into place. You felt secure, you trusted that other people believed in you, but then you get slapped in the face with reality. People aren't as supportive and trusting as you think they are, and you're left with the feeling that you should just settle.

I told myself that this would be my year - the year my life would fall into place, the year where I would find a job I love and maybe a even a guy to love, but so far, it seems to be moving a tad slower than I imagined. I know it's only January, but I feel like it's been forever. There are days where I feel like I've done all I could do to find THE job and then I don't know what else to do with myself for the rest of the day. I'm living on a budget so I can't really spend or go shopping like I've been itching to do. I've run all the errands that needed to be ran, and watching tv and reading have gotten old. Do things really pick up or fall into place like people say they do? Because I'm about go crazy here...

good enough

2005-12-02T17:21:00.000-08:00

I feel like I'm at that point in my life where I don't know where I'm going and I don't know whether I'm good enough to do what I want to do. I guess everyone goes through this at some point in their lives and I guess it's my turn. It's just weird because I feel like my life is out of order, and for those who know me, order in my life is how I LIVE. It's weird not having to wake up every morning to go to work, not seeing or talking with people you used to work with everyday, and not having to pack my lunch every night for the next work day. Things were always convenient, always comfortable.

So I've been at home trying to "find myself," trying to figure out whether I'm good enough to do what I want to do. A lot of people say I'm destined for great things, but it's hard for me to see. When is destiny going to hit me? I do feel like things happen for a reason and people always say that better things are to come, but I've always been the type of person who waits for things to happen. I don't usually go after things; I don't make things happen; I'm not ambitious enough. But I think I'm humble and I appreciate the things that come my way. I guess the question is, "Can I be both ambitious and humble at the same time?" I know some people who are, but that's the way they've always been and that's why I love them. And then I know some people who are very ambitious and used to be humble, but have now become richies who have lost site of what they've become. It's just hard to change who I am. It's like asking someone who's naturally funny to stop being funny. And I hate telling people to change who they are and I feel like I'm telling myself to do that, and I can't. I feel like I'm just not good enough.

quote of the month...

2005-10-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

"Do I look like a tree?" This was NOT for Halloween btw...LOL.

in a daze

2005-09-28T14:19:00.000-07:00

I was driving and it's one of those really bright sunny, hot days where the skin on your arm burns because it's exposed to the sun. It was really windy and leaves were flying everywhere on the street, hitting my windshield. There were papers and plastic bags flying everywhere - it reminded me of that one scene in American Beauty with the flying plastic bag. It's one of those days where I feel like people watching in the park. So sad I am stuck inside at work, bored out of my mind...=(

quote of the day:

2005-07-31T22:15:00.000-07:00

"Where there's hair, there's smell." Although I did chime in and mention that where there's thick hair, there's smell because our arms and legs don't really smell...well, at least mine don't...

the best things in life are free...

2005-07-30T23:52:00.000-07:00

So we had a party last night and I think it went pretty well. I love waking up the next morning with our girl friends, recapping what had happened the night before - people falling into bushes, seeing people's asses, going through all the blackmail pictures we took (always a good sign that we had a good time). It was a warm day with a breeze coming into our house and my awesome roommate cooked us all brunch and we all sat around just chillin' for a couple hours, not doing anything. We hadn't done this in awhile and I forgot what it felt like to just sit there doing absolutely nothing with a group of friends you love hanging out with, people you can't live without.

I had a conversation with my sister over the phone the other day and I told her we were having a party. She said, "Oh, who's all going?" I said I don't know; so far we have about 40 people on our evite. She said "That's it? We normally have parties where we invite like 300 people. 40 doesn't seem like that many people. How come you don't invite anyone else?" I said, "We don't have anyone else to invite. We really don't know that many people and we already invited friends of friends." Then she said, "Is this what happens when a bunch of introverted people become friends?" At that point, I didn't really know what to say and my response was "I guess." But I don't really think that we're all that introverted - my personality test did say that I was an extrovert...haha. Talking with my sister made me feel like our group of friends didn't really have that many friends at all, compared to her 300. She then said "I guess it's because you have a really close core group of friends whereas I don't think I have that. I have a bunch of different group of friends that we hang out with on different occassions." And I said, "Yea, that's true."

After that conversation, I thought about my friends and how we all are pretty close. Some of us work together, live together, and hang out together. People always ask us if we fight and get sick of each other, but really, we don't fight at all, and I don't think we're sick of each other either.

It's weird how all of us came together, like it was fate. I met my roommate at our freshman college orientation and we ended up, coincidentally, living in the same dorm our freshman year. I met another one of the gals at my orientation as well - she was my orientation roommate for the weekend and we didn't really talk or hang out with each other at all. Then one day of our senior year in collge, after four years of not seeing or speaking with each other, we ended up working at the same company for an internship, and ever since then, we've become really good friends. I met the fourth in our group, Soy Beans, through my next door neighbor in our dorm, a girl who used to be a good friend. Ironically, I'm better friends with Soy Beans now than I am with her. It's really strange how things work out. I guess my freshman year in college was a good year for me.

So I thought about whether it's better to have that huge group of 300 friends or having a small close group of friends, and I came to the conclusion that I'm totally fine with where I am now with my small group of friends. We have fun, and sometimes that's all that really matters - and I'm happy with that because I don't think we'd all be the same people we are now if it were any different.

burning down the house

2005-07-12T22:35:00.000-07:00

So I came home one Sunday night aorund 9:30PM and Rich was the only one there, sitting at the dining table with his laptop. I go into the kitchen and noticed that he had his meet marinating out on the counter, so I asked, "You didn't eat yet?" He replied, "No, I'm waiting for the rice to cook." I asked "When did you cook it?" He said, "Around 8:00." I then proceeded to walk over to the rice cooker because it can't possibly take and hour and a half to cook rice. The rice was cooked, and had been for probably about an hour on the "keep warm" button. So I told him...he said "Shit! I wonder how long it's been like that! There's no green button to say that it's ready? Man, I'm starving too!" He then started to scoop the rice but it was a little mushy cuz he had put too much water...you should have seen the look of disappointment on his face.

He then started to cook his steak and I hear "Oh shit!" while I was standing at the sink. I turn around to discover that the pan was on fire and before the fire could burn anything else, he pulled the pan off of the stove and started to blow out the fire with his mouth, which surprisingly worked. He almost freakin' burned our house down! And he said "That was cool!!! It was like I was a real chef!" I responded with, "No, that wasn't cool man. You almost burned down our house!"

Guys...and this one doesn't even really live with us...

tyraid?

2005-07-12T21:45:00.000-07:00

We, my roommates - two permanent and one temporary, were playing scrabble last night and who knew it would be as entertaining as it was. Two of them, guys (let's call the first one 'T-man' and the other 'Rich'), didn't really know all the rules. The first word that wasn't really a word that was formed was "tyraid" where the "T-Y" was added onto the already formed word "raid." Rich kept insisting that it was a real word and got T-man to back him up that I was almost convinced that it was a real word. The sensible roommate #1 (the other girl in the house) defiantly said that it wasn't a real word. She told them to use it in a sentence. Here's what they came up with: "The tyrant went on a tyraid." LOL...no, "tyraid" is not a word.

At the end of the game, we all had some tiles left and were trying to get rid of as many as possible. Rich ended up having about 5 tiles left, one was a "Y" (worth 4 points), one was a "Z" (worth 10 points), and the others were one point tiles. He really wanted to get rid of his "Z" and kept insisting that "oz" was a word. Roommate #1 challenged him and he lost but kept stating that it was in the dictionary - yes, it was, but as an abbreviation of the word "ounce," and abbreviations are not allowed in the game. He then insisted that it was a place like in The Wizard of Oz but you can't use pronouns, so no, you can't use it. He then said "then what's 'west' then?" (a word that was already on the board). I then rebutted, "It's a direction, like north, south, east, west - not a place OR a pronoun."

So the game ended and Rich was frustrated while T-man was laughing because he thought it was a funny game. Rich ended up going online to look up "tyraid" which didn't exist and "oz" again which was still an abbreviation and a place...

Wait til I tell you the next story about Rich...

some random thoughts...

2005-06-08T22:48:00.000-07:00

1.) I forgot what it was like to go to dim sum - the loudness, the rudeness, the uncleanliness...but it's still really good for some reason...

2.) I saw this woman at the dim sum place we went to. I usually see her there everytime I go. She's a cart-er, and I wondered what her life is like - having to do that all the time...

3.) I was watching Elimidate and there was this gross guy on who called himself "Dr. Seduce," not "Dr. Seuss"...get it? hahaha - LAME! And then there was this other guy who couldn't get the word "stamina" right and he kept saying he had a lot of "stanima" cuz that's how he thought it was really pronounced...this was all in one show...sooo sad - I felt bad for the girl who had to pick!

4.) I went to a travel agency with my parents because they saw a special on TV. We get there and try the front door but it was locked and wouldn't open - they were closed but my dad tried to open the door repeatedly...and no it still wouldn't open. So on our way back to the parking lot, he decides to try the back door, thinking that that door might be open...hmmm. What do you think? Yea, they're funny like that...

5.) Who knew I was really competitive at board games???

6.) I'm such a sucky ass friend! I forgot to call my friends (twins) on their birthday and had to call them a couple days later to wish them a belated birthday...I suck!!! =(

pleasantville

2005-06-08T22:35:00.000-07:00

I was driving home today and I felt like I was in a car commericial. It was like I was driving through the perfect neighborhood where cute little kids came out of their houses to ride their bikes in the evening, where people were out jogging after a day of work, and where people were out walking their beautiful golden retrievers. They were on almost every street corner I stopped at, at every house I passed on my block. I drove into the driveway of my complex with the beautiful purple flowers falling off the tree forming a sea of purple on the ground. It was a little weird seeing all of this while Frou Frou was playing in the backgroud. It was like one of those surreal events where things pass by you so quickly you don't even know what really happened because it seemed so fake. And then I got home and everything just snapped back to normal, but I kind of wished it didn't for a while longer. I kind of liked being in that fake little bubble for awhile.

The Golden Girls plus one

2005-05-24T22:46:00.000-07:00

I was waiting to pick up my order of sandwiches this weekend at a Mr. Baguette near my house when four old women, all with short permed hair and wearing long floral gowns walked in. They stood out because they were all Caucasian in a predominantly Asian store. They all walked in not knowing where the line to order was since there was no real line that was formed. One of them almost tripped over the pole that was placed to indicate where the line began, so she quickly turned around to notify her companions that the pole was there and that they should be careful not trip over it. It was cute. It was one of those moments that made me smile. It was like the Golden Girls plus one, but in a weird way, they kind of made me think of Sex and the City and how those women could have been the "old" version of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda. That made me smile even more. I just hoped that one day, when my friends and I are all old, that we would go out to random places like that and enjoy life like we would have if we were young.

parents

2005-05-24T22:12:00.000-07:00

I recently found out that a couple of my co-workers, both around my age, had lost a parent - one lost his mom when he was 12 and the other lost her dad when she was 14. I found out in awkward moments where I had wished I hadn't asked the questions I had asked, but any normal person would have probably asked the same questions.

After Mother's Day had passed, I asked him "So what'd you do for Mother's Day?" He replied, "My mom passed away when I was 12 so we all decided to go hunting to try and forget about it."

On another day, I had asked "So what are you doing this weekend?" She replied, "I'm going to visit my dad on Sunday." So I asked "Where at?" And she said "At the cemetery. My dad passed away when I was 14. All the smoking and drinking that he did way back when finally caught up with him."

I didn't know how to respond to these answers they gave. All I could do was say "I'm sorry." But it made me think a lot afterwards about how lucky I am to still have both of my parents, alive and well, still happy and content. It's so hard to imagine life without them being here doing the funny quirky things they do that make me laugh, like how my mom bought shoes the other day for when she goes on vacation to Burma, but we don't really know when we're going, or like how my dad got this really ugly chair cover for his car seat because it was free and decided that he had to use it because he had it. Things like that make my parents my parents, and I love them for that. There's no one in the world who can replace them and I've learned to appreciate the time I get to spend with them because unlike my co-workers, I have the opportunity to do so and I've learned that I have to take advantage of that.

the 7th wheel

2005-05-11T21:47:00.000-07:00

I was talking with one of my friends today about our "field trip" this weekend to the IMAX theater and science museum. Our friend decided to do a "remember when we were in elementary school..." day, hence the IMAX and the museum but sans the sack lunches.

Turns out everyone who's going has a "partner" or significant other whom they plan on bringing along on the trip. Let's see...three couples and single ole me...hmmm...that sounds fun! They assure me that it'll be fine, that it won't be weird or awkward cuz I've hung out with them before, which is true, but not with all three couples at the same time. There were always other single people there, so it was fine. They think I'm silly for not wanting to go because of this, but think about it - wouldn't you feel a little awkward? Like you're the 5th wheel, but in this case, a 7th? Don't get me wrong - I like all of them, but being around a lot of couples at the same time is just not my thing. The thing is, I don't want them to feel weird around me because they know I feel this way. So it's kind of weird...

But sometimes I feel like they don't understand. They've all been in really long relationships. I would say they're the kind of relationships where you know there's marriage in the future for them all. I on the other hand, have never been a long term relationship or even a short one for that matter. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem being single; I kind of enjoy it - being able to do things on my own whenever I want with whomever I want, getting alone time when I need it, and being able to check out hot guys whenever they're around without feeling guilty. But sometimes I just wish I had that special someone as well. And there's always those moments where you wish someone were there. So it's kind of hard for me sometimes to be around all these happy couples (and yes, if I sound bitter, maybe I am a little and I admit it). Sometimes being around a lot of people (especially when they're all couples) can make you feel lonlier than just being around a few people. I know that sounds strange, but I guess you had to have had that feeling before to know exactly what I mean.

hmmmmm...

2005-05-03T22:17:00.000-07:00

I recently found out that an ex-co-worker of mine has a case at an immigration law firm my friend works at - weird how small this world is. He's getting married to a young Asian girl, one year younger than me, but mind you, he's probably about twice her age. They're applying to get her a green card - hmmmm.

He was one of those guys at work that all the women loved to hide from. He was not bad looking, but he was arrogant and self absorbed and very closed-minded. He'd frequently invite himself to lunch with random people and when that wouldn't work, he'd ask people out to lunch instead. He had a track record of asking all (well most of) the Asian women at our work out to lunch while they would try and make excuses not to go with him.

There was this one incident where my friends (a girl and a guy) and I were in the car, ready to leave for lunch. (Earlier that day, he had asked my friend (the girl) out to lunch, but she said she had brought her food and she'd be eating with us, which was true at the time, but we all changed our minds and decided to go out instead). Next thing you know, while backing out, he appears next to the car, opens the door, and hops in, inviting himself to come with us (damn, how I wish we just drove off or at least locked the door). At this point, how could we refuse? He was already sitting in the car! Anyway, one of the conversations we had went something like this:

Ex-co-worker (directing question to my Asian girl friend): So have you had any other jobs before this one?

Girl Friend: Yea, why?

Ex-co-worker: Because I know that a lot of Asian people don't really work until they graduate from school.

Girl Friend: What? I've had a lot of jobs before this one while I was in school (and she went ahead and pretty much listed her resume to try and disprove his theory).

At this point, I was sitting there thinking "Great, we have to have another one of these conversations with him." The next thing you know, while I was sitting there trying to eat my food, he leans over and wipes my mouth with a napkin. According to my friends, I had a look of horror on my face, trying to back away from him, wondering what the hell he was doing wiping my mouth - can i just say eeeewww! Who does that?

Example #2 of what conversations are like with him:

Ex-co-worker: So what school did you graduate from?

Another Girl Friend: ASU, why?

Ex-co-worker: Just wondering. What was your major because isn't that school really easy?

Girl Friend: I had two majors, *blank* and *blank* (I don't really remember what she said they were).

Ex-co-worker: Oh really? Well those are really easy majors and your GPA was probably not that high huh?

Girl Friend: No, I actually had a 3.9 and graduated with honors.

Ex-co-worker: Oh, well I graduated from...(I don't remember what school he said, but he went on and on about how smart he was and how much better his school was).

Yeeea, so see what a catch he is? So I wasn't surprised when I heard he was marrying that girl. The sad part is that I can't believe he found someone before I did!

dude, where's my car?

2005-05-02T21:28:00.000-07:00

So we went to the Coachella Music and Arts Festival on Saturday and we all agreed that it was a really nice day in Coachella compared to the past ones we've attended. It was sunny, warm (hot at times), and there was a cool breeze that constantly blew throughout the day.

We started the day off with The Sexy Magazines (who screamed a lot), stopped by Katie Melua (who was very cute and British), saw k-os (very entertaining), waited for Snow Patrol (who was not very good live), saw Keane (who sounded exactly like they do on the cd), stopped by Rilo Kiley and Wilco, saw Weezer (who could have been a bit more entertaining), and last but not least, we saw Coldplay - the definite highlight of my evening (he was so hot, and I think it's partly because of his cute accent, and he played snip-its of Weezer and NIN which was cute). The crowd was singing along in unison and there was this one song where he told the crowd to take a picture at the same time - it was like a sea of flashing stars - very cool!

The day was filled with strange people - one playing air guitar and doing the Macarena (not sure if that's how you spell that) tp Coldplay (yea, I don't get it either) and another sitting on top of a guy's shoulders while letting another rub her ass (really strange but hilarious in a weird way - I guess you had to be there).

So the night was ending and my friend says that something is bound to go wrong because we (meaning her and her friend Betty) have never had a perfect day like this - something bad will happen. Yea, she totally jinxed us - we were headed out to the parking lot, following the crowd and not paying attention to where we were going. Next thing you know, 40 minutes pass and we had to backtrack to where we were to figure out where the heck our car was. We decided to ask a parking attendant and were curious as to how many parking lots there were - he replied "17." Our mouths dropped, all of us picturing us having to go to every single one of those parking lots to look for the car. I felt like we were in the parking lot of Disneyland except with no cute cartoon characters to guide our way, just big yellow balloons with numbers flying in the sky. An hour and some minutes later, we found it - all of us tired but glad that none of us yelled at each other because apparently, some of their other friends would have. I finally got home around 3:30 in the morning and fell asleep with dreams of Chris Martin in my head...=)

a really close call

2005-04-25T01:12:00.000-07:00

We went to a co-worker's birthday bash at an 18 and over club in Irvine (she was turning 26, and none of her friends were under age, but this was one of the only places in the city that she could find with a guest list option). I haven't been to an 18 and over place in a long time. We went in feeling old, especially with all these girls in the bathroom with "X's" marked on each hand, a symbol for the bartenders to know who was under age. We met my co-workers friends, and my roommates and I drank and danced all night like we haven't drank and danced in long time. It was fun - my roommates and I left around 1:30 in the morning, telling each other how many drinks we thought we've had and who we talked to and danced with that night.

We woke up the next morning a little tired but decided to go to a Habit for Humanity workshop we had planned on going to anyway. On our way back, I got a call from my co-worker. She was at the hospital and said that there was a shooting at the club last night. I was in shock. She was sitting at the hospital covered in blood. Her boyfriend got shot - everyone said he was really lucky. The bullet went in his head (he has four inches of stitches) and made a u-turn, coming back out through the top of his ear. I'd say pretty lucky alright...someone was definitely watching over him that night. From what I heard, he's going to be alright, thank God. The security guard at the club though, wasn't so lucky. He was shot in the chest and had died that morning. I never thought something like this would happen to anyone I would know, especially in the city of Irvine, one of the safest cities in the United States. And you would think they would have already caught the people who did this, but they haven't yet even though there were quite a few witnesses.

My friends all said we were really lucky we left a little early that night. I'd have to say the same. Apparently this had all happened about 10-15 minutes after we had left...someone was definitely watching over us that night as well.

if they can do it, we can do it, or it can't be done at all

2005-04-21T23:10:00.000-07:00

We stopped by Chicago on our way home from New York to visit my sister at Kellogg, where she's currently going to business school. My friend and I met a lot of her friends and classmates who were all really friendly and outgoing, way too much for the two of us who are usually pretty tame people. A simple "hi" and wave to them is an excited "hi, hug, and 'oh my gosh! you're here!,'" as if they all already knew me and were all expecting to see me.

We tagged along to a few of my sister's events and felt like two high school girls sitting in the corner while all the college students socialize and talk about their classes and professors, when in actuality, we've already graduated from college and so have they. We were kind of quiet and had few words - we felt like we had nothing in common with any of them. My sister said "It's what you make of it," but that's easy to say when you've been a social, smart, outgoing person for your entire life and can easily associate with people in any situation. I'm not saying that my friend and I are not social, smart, or outgoing - we're just the kind of people who you just have to get to know first to see that we are. We can't just be like that with random people we've never met - it's harder than it seems, especially when just talking with a few people there made us feel so unaccomplished, like we lacked something and haven't yet experienced life the way we were supposed to. Everyone there had great jobs before they decided to go to business school and have travelled to places I could only wish I've gone to. We couldn't really relate since we both don't really love our jobs and haven't really gotten the chance to travel to places around the world.

But truthfully, that whole experience enlightened us. It made us contemplate about how we can change our lives - how we can do things that they have done. I had a lot of time to think on my plane ride home and I've come up with some goals:

1.) Take a class to put together the portfolio I've been wanting to put together for years, even though it'll cost me an arm and a leg.

2.) Volunteer for something on the weekends to help out with an important cause and at the same time meet new people.

3.) Learn how to start my own business (this is a really long term goal), but I can't really disclose what I'm planning to do since I don't want to give any of my ideas away.

4.) Travel whenever the opportunity presents itself.

I feel like now that I've actually written it out, I have to follow through with all of them because if I didn't, I'd feel like one of those high school girls sitting in the corner again, like I haven't experienced life the way I wanted to...and I hate that feeling.

an L.A. moment in NYC

2005-04-21T22:20:00.000-07:00

So I was gone for about a week on vacation in New York with a friend of mine from work. Boy do I miss not having summer vacation!

Anyway, New York was fun - highlight of my trip was seeing Mariah Carey, Alec Baldwin, Jessica Lange, and Christian Slater all in one day (although sitting in front of Carrie's stoop from Sex and the City was pretty cool too). I didn't think I'd be as star struck as I actually was since I'm from L.A. and all, but I was!

Mariah was performing in Times Square that morning - that was kind of cool. And we went to see the Glass Menagerie that night (very good seats by the way - 11th row center, thanks to the tkts booth down in lower Manhattan), starring Jessica Lange and Christian Slater (he was one of the reasons why we went to go see it. He was actually shorter than we pictured him to be). During intermission we noticed Alec Baldwin sitting in the row in front of us (we actually had better seats than he did though cuz his seats were on the far right end of the row - hehe). He looked kind of old an frumpy with huge glasses, but he was with a young Asian woman, probably about half his age - she was pretty. My friend jokingly asked "How do we become one of those Asian girls?" No, really how do we? haha. As the play ended, Jessica Lange went up on stage asking for donations to support something about theater. We weren't really paying attention since were staring at Alec Baldwin to see where he was going. Lone and behold, as we were leaving, he and his woman were standing right behind me (his arm touched my back). I turned around and just smiled and so did my friend. No words, just a smile, and we proceeded to walk out. As we were walking out, Christian Slater was standing at the door, about six inches away from us, collecting donations in a bucket. He smiled at us and we both smiled back. And we just walked out - speechless. We looked like two cheap Asian asses cuz we had no money to donate and we didn't even have the guts to say anything to him. But as we left, we saw to girls running in from outside of the theater screaming with a camera to take a picture with him. We left thinking "Thank God we didn't do that." We didn't want to be those pesky girls bugging them for authographs and pictures because they probably have to deal with that all the time. We wanted to look calm and collected, like it was no big deal when it kind of was to us. So we left excited, telling each other what we should have said to Alec Baldwin and Christian Slater, well, mostly Christian Slater - how he was great in the play, but how we was even better in Untamed Heart...LOL. We told each other about how we thought he was totally looking at us in the audience during the play (he probably really wasn't looking at either of us at all). It felt like an L.A. moment, but it was one of those moments that I'm glad I got to share with someone else, especially with one of my friends who was just as excited as I was.

guiness here we come!

2005-03-30T22:59:00.000-08:00

So moving to a new place and not having access to the internet sucks, but going to a pretty much free Guiness event with free food and beer for only the price of a $5 donation for the Lance Armstrong Foundation - Priceless!

geeze?

2005-03-13T23:15:00.000-08:00

so apparently,

"geeze" (not sure of the spelling) = pissed = getting drunk

that's the first i heard of the word "geeze" until this weekend, and apparently, it's the first for seven other people as well...

click...

2005-03-10T22:32:00.000-08:00

My dad called me today. I had missed his call so I called him back. I hear someone pick up but there was just background noise, kind of like when someone accidentally calls your phone. I say "hello" three times and no one answers and I finally hear a click. He hung up on me. I then receive a voice message with the same background noise - not really a voice message I guess. I call him once again and he says he was trying to leave me a message. LOL.

This how the conversation went:

Dad: Hey, I know you're not coming home this weekend, so when you come home next weekend...

Me: (Interrupting him) I don't think I'm coming home that weekend either because I'm moving that weekend.

Dad: What?! You're not coming home that weekend either?! I need you to bring your computer home so I can borrow it and see if the TurboTax will work on your computer!

(Side Note: We've been having these problems getting all the updates for the TurboTax he bought - I have to say I hate TurboTax now with a passion!)

Me: Why? We have the same computer. Why would you think it would work on mine?

Dad: Your uncles said to try it! Fine, you don't want me to borrow your computer?!!! (he says this in a yelling tone) Fine!!! (yelling again)

And then I hear a click. He hung up on me AGAIN. WHAT THE??? And this time, it wasn't the kind of LOL kind of hanging up on me. It was the "what the ****!?" kind of hang up. I really don't understand parents, or maybe it's just mine...

"filing party"

2005-03-07T23:04:00.000-08:00

We had a "filing party" at work today...

You know it's time to look for another job when you start having "filing parties" at work. I guess you could consider it a small party since our boss DID buy us some snacks to munch on - some cookies and a fruit platter. Who does this?

There comes a point where you have the urge to pick up and leave because there is this point where you've just had it. I've hit that point a long time ago and it just came and gone. I've lost that drive - the drive to look for something else, the drive to find something I REALLY want to do. I never pictured myself in the mortgage industry but that's where I ended up. It was one of those jobs that was the only option after college since there was nothing else available. And it's been about two years. I can't say that I hate my job because I don't. We're always busy and the day flies. The perks are great - leaving early at the end of each month, free Laker tickets, free In N' Out. But still, I feel like there's something missing. I feel like I settled somehow and maybe I did because it was the practical thing to do. I always question myself on whether or not I can do more - with finding a job a I'd like, with feeling a sense of self fulfillment, with expanding my social circles. I know the answer to all my questions is a "yes," but where do people get that drive to actually do it?

coordination - is it in our future?

2005-03-03T22:05:00.000-08:00

My friend and I decided awhile ago that we're both not equipped to do anything that requires hand-eye or any sort of physical coordination. We've gone snowboarding a few times and have decided that carving is nowhere close in our near future. We've played tennis a few times and decided that that just wasn't the sport for us. We've played pool a few times and got tired from standing since it took THAT long for us to finish one game. Are we the only people out there who suffer from this impediment?

I can't say that we are completely uncoordinated though - we're pretty good at crafts, which does involve some sort of coordination! =) I don't think we're that bad as drivers and we can dance pretty decently, well, I know she can anyway...

it's raining...

2005-02-22T23:01:00.000-08:00

like CRAZY, but it's actually kinda fun...sometimes...never thought there'd be tornados in Cali...

i just know

2005-02-14T00:13:00.000-08:00

My mom asked me out of the blue whether or not I had a picture of my grandmother up in my room at my apartment. I said "yes," and asked her why. She said with a smile, "Because grandmother is very strong right now." I said "How do you know?" She replied with an even a bigger smile and said "I just know. Whenever you need help with anything you can look at that picture and ask her to help you." I smiled at her and she gave a little laugh.

I love how my mom does that. She "just knows" a lot of things. Like how she "just knows" that that gross "chicken of essence" stuff she makes you drink will make your resistance better, but when you ask her how, she doesn't really know. But with that most recent "I just know" comment, I can tell she misses her mom, and that made me miss my grandmother a little. It is the new year, and doing all these chinese new year family activities makes it a bit nostalgic.

who knew?

2005-02-13T23:34:00.000-08:00

Who knew going to a party a co-worker invited you to wouldn't be as fun as you thought? Who knew you would see all these old co-workers (and by old I mean in age) there hitting on these younger (and when I say younger, I mean way younger) women, one of them being your roommate? Ewwww....

pew hue fu

2005-02-10T23:55:00.000-08:00

“Pew hue fu,” for those who understand Toi San, it literally means, “tear a pair of pants” but for one of my aunts, it means “beautiful” in English. That one word, “beautiful,” sparked a conversation the other day with a bunch of my cousins and I while eating dinner at a Black Angus restaurant. One of my younger cousins in high school (let’s call her Alicia) was telling us about this boy whom she previously asked to her winter ball and who now has a crush on her. This is how the conversation went:

Alicia: “I know he has a crush on me, but I don’t know if I like him because all the other girls at school like him. And he’s kind of a nerd – he uses the word ‘farewell’ and who says that? He dropped me off after the dance in his Lexus and said “farewell,” and I said ‘ewww.’”

Cousins: “What? Why would you say that?”

Alicia: “Because it’s weird. He uses the word ‘apparently’ too. Who uses words like that?”

Cousins: “We do! What’s wrong with using the word ‘apparently?’”

Alicia: “I don’t know. It’s weird for people in high school. We were talking about our schedules and he said ‘Apparently, they didn’t have anymore space in that class, so I had to sign up for another one.’ Who says that? And when we were at the dance, all the other girls’ dates were complimenting them, saying ‘You look nice’ or ‘You look good’ or ‘You look pretty’ or ‘You look sexy,’ but you know what he told me? He said ‘You look beautiful.’ Who says that?!”

Cousins: “Uh, that one was the best one out of all of them. Why wouldn’t you want someone telling you that you’re beautiful? You’re supposed to say ‘Thank you.’”

Alicia: “I said ‘No, no, no.’”

Cousins: “What?! Why?!”

Alicia: “Because, he’s just kinda nerdy and he can’t dance. And no one talks like that.”

Cousins: “Just because he uses words with more than one or two syllables, it doesn’t mean it’s bad. Would you rather have someone who’s dumb and can dance and looks like an idiot than someone who’s smart that can probably learn how to dance?”

Alicia: “No, I just can’t go out with someone who can’t dance. It’s a turn off. And the other day, I said that I needed help with my Calculus homework so he helped me.”

Cousins: “Soooo…isn’t that GOOD?”

Alicia: “No. I’m like the damsel in distress and he’s like the knight in shining armor that saves me with his intelligence and not his sword.”
Cousins: “Wouldn’t you rather have a smart guy than some dumb guy with a sword? What is he going to do with a sword? And what other kinds of ‘distress’ can you being having in school?”

Alicia: “I don’t know – more fun?!”

Cousins: “OMG! He’s smart, tall, good-looking, rich and popular. Why wouldn’t you like him?”

Alicia: “I don’t know…he’s just different.”

Cousins: “You know what, maybe you should just not lead him on and let some other girl have him.”

Alicia: “No! If I don’t want him, I don’t want any other girl having him either! Hehe.”

What has the world come to?